No, I will not dig through your purse looking for double-sided tape

I'm sorry we don't have a book on dream interpretation for your very last-minute birthday gift needs. I'm sorry you had time to go get a manicure before popping into our store 8 minutes before closing time to fly around like a tornado rambling incoherently about running late. I'm even sorry that I wrapped your gift (for free) in our standard gift wrap and did not attach a fluffy bow, which you later rather rudely demanded. But I will not apologize for refusing to dig through your purse on a desperate search for double-sided tape so that we can attach a fairy charm to the outside of your lame "Girlfriends" gift book. Your nails are wet, I get it. You're clearly a very important person. But I won't do it, and I'm not sorry. Furthermore, what the Hell are you doing carrying around double-sided tape in your purse? Get out of this store, and don't come back.